I took my new bride (is it still a new bride or groom after eight months? Maybe a better question would be…when are we not “new” bride and groom?) to Top Golf for our weekly date night. We had gone out once before and she had done extremely well for someone who had never swung a club before. In fact, it was amazing how she had maintained the grip, posture and swing through out. She consistently hit ball after ball with great contact down the middle. She was hooked and had a desire for more. In fact on Valentines she got me a Top Golf gift card…so I would take her to Top Golf again! LOL
A little background…I played collegiate golf for Sierra College for two years and then nearly seven years later I was recruited by William Jessup University to create a men’s golf program and be its first Men’s golf coach. I was hired in 2007 and coached until 2012 when I stepped down to pursue building an international business…but that’s a story for another e-newsletter.
As we were out this 2nd time it became a little more apparent to Lexi that golf is a game that is learned over time and no one person on the planet has simply picked up a “stick” and excelled at the game without much practice and dedication. She did not hit ball after ball down the middle this time (which is very normal – let’s face it, golf is the hardest game invented to master). She got frustrated. It seemed a lot more difficult and confounding this go-round. I had made some suggestions to her as she was hitting. She “tried” them, but once the “try” ended with a poor result it was quickly dropped with an, “it doesn’t feel right or I can’t do that, etc.” In that moment as I expressed my frustration (not very kind and understanding on my part), I understood more clearly when people would say that husbands shouldn’t give lessons to their wives. I get too focused on the lesson rather than just having fun; clueless to the fact that if she’s having fun, she’ll want to do it again with me. It would be better for both if a 3rd party professional was hired. One nugget of wisdom that came out of this experience (sadly, after the “discussion” of she wasn’t coachable wanting to do it her way, and I wasn’t very kind, nor very fun, etc. had calmed down) was the fact that we can be too much results driven rather than process driven. Lexi was judging her shot as good or bad based on the result of the golf ball rather than the process of learning a golf swing. I shared with her that the professionals who make millions of dollars do not hit every shot perfect or pure. Sadly, because of television which cuts from one player to the next, only showing the amazing shots, we are left thinking that the pro’s don’t miss, yet those of us that have played the game at a high level can certainly attest, “the game is a game of misses.”
Something hit me as I was trying to communicate to Lexi about the frustration she was experiencing. I realized that she was basing her success or failure of performance by what the little white golf ball did and not on what the process of her swing development was. I was looking at her swing, the mechanics – her grip, her stance, weight shift, etc. I told her that what the golf ball did at this stage did not matter, that she would have many more bad shots than good, and that was perfectly normal. What she needed to focus on were three things:
1) Believe what your coach is telling you. (true compliments/encouragement, “great swing, really good grip, great tempo on that one, etc.)
2) Do what the coach tells you to do even when it doesn’t feel good or right (how could a brand new golfer know what was right or wrong?).
3) Give yourself a break. Golf is hard and it takes time to be good. Be patient and enjoy the process.
Later that week Lexi and I were having a “discussion” and she let me know to stop looking at the result in the moment but rather to focus on “the process.” Before the sentence had finished I realized she was right and I was stopped in my tracks! No, not because she was right (she is right A LOT), but rather she had actually listened to her coach! 🙂
**Lexi and I met while attending Bridgeway Church in Roseville. Her beautiful red hair flowing down in a soft wavy cascade called to me from the row in front. We dated for a little over three years (yes I was scared, I had been married before and didn’t want to make a bad or wrong decision this time) and became engaged when I surprised her with a road trip to Lovers Point near Monterey on February 28th 2016. We were married June 22nd 2016. Having no kids prior, I now have three teenagers that I learn from daily!
The Matthew Stewart Real Estate Team stumbled onto Diamond Creek, much like many of its current residents. Many were living in the San Francisco Bay Area and would come up to Roseville and Granite Bay for drives on gorgeous spring, summer, or fall days. They would venture out to West Roseville, lured by all of the aggressive new home builder advertising, but along the way they would take a turn here or there and somehow end up in Diamond Creek along Blue Oaks Blvd and Woodcreek Oaks Blvd. Once you find Diamond Creek – you love it! With its many nature / greenbelt areas with walking and riding trails winding through out, and its award winning schools and parks, Diamond Creek is a phenomenal place to live. Check out the informative video the Matthew Stewart Real Estate Team has created to learn more. If you desire more information or private showings of homes located in Diamond Creek, Diamond Woods, or surrounding areas, including Granite Bay – contact Matthew Stewart directly at (916) 718-2979
Granite Bay is an amazing community. A best kept secret if you will, but the word is getting out and Bay Area Residents are making their way up to South Placer County to live and play! Learn more about this great area in the video provided by Matthew Stewart Real Estate Team at Realty World American River Properties.
To look at the possibilities of living in this dynamic area, contact: Matthew Stewart – (916) 718-2979
The Jim McLean Golf Center-Texas is regarded as the #1 golf school in the United States. Set up as one complete and comprehensive program, the Jim McLean Golf Center-Texas has a unique approach to golf. Golfers of all levels WILL improve their golf game. That’s the promise behind the Jim McLean Golf Center-Texas–and the reason we are the top-rated golf school in the country. Much of that is owed to our multi-dimensional plan that combines training the body as well as the mind for optimal success. The immediate benefits include improved play leading to more enjoyment from the game. With a variety of programs available, the Jim McLean Golf Center-Texas is devoted to implementing an enduring approach with guaranteed results. Each student will experience Jim’s proven system for learning while utilizing safety zones and parameters based on over thirty-five years of research. Regardless of your skill level, you will receive expert personalized instruction.
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David Knapp Stockton is an American professional golfer who has won tournaments on both the PGA Tour and the Champions Tour. Stockton was born in San Bernardino, California. He attended the University of Southern California and turned professional in 1964. His first PGA Tour win came at the 1967 Colonial National Invitation. He was selected […]
Rocklin, Calif. – On June 27th, William Jessup University’s Head Men’s Golf Coach, Matthew Stewart, will be leading a three-week missions trip to Limerick, Ireland. Stewart will be leading a group of college golfers from across the country with an organization called SportQuest.
Founded in 1998, SportQuest’s serves alongside churches throughout the world representing various denominations to motivate and equip the sports community to bridge the gap between faith and action.
While in Ireland, Coach Stewart’s team will work alongside Irish-based Christian athletes to help them minister to their peers. They will host golf camps for ages 10-21 years at three different country clubs. In addition, the golf team will compete against Irish club teams as they build relationships, share their faith, and play golf at some of the most challenging courses in Ireland.
Originally, Coach Stewart was contacted by SportsQuest to help find players for the trip and his surprise he became the coach.
“I was contacted to see if I had any golfers on the William Jessup University Men’s Golf team that would be willing and able to go.” stated Coach Stewart. “I emailed back and let them know I would check and told them that if they needed an assistant coach or helper I would be open to go. Well, the coach who was slated to run the trip pulled out the week before my email and SportQuest was praying for God to provide another coach. It’s amazing how God brought everything together.”
Coach Stewart is excited to see what God has planned for the team in Ireland.
“This is an amazing opportunity,” stated Stewart. “I am humbled to coach the team and have the opportunity to make an eternal impact with the relationships that we will be build with the people in Ireland. ”
SportQuest Team Members
Christian Bechard, a junior from Evangel University.
Brian Steele, a senior from Southwest Baptist University.
Heather Bruce, a junior from Lewis-Clark State College.
Mariah Johnson, a graduate from Indian Creek High School in Indiana.
Kris Patel, played 4 years at Hardin Simmons University in Texas.